How to Stop Overthinking (Part 4): Calm First. Then Think.

You’ve learned how to spot overthinking (Part 1), map the worry cycle (Part 2), and unhook from sticky thought patterns (Part 3).

This week: what to do when none of that seems to work.

When your chest is tight, your thoughts won’t stop looping, and even the kindest journal prompt feels like too much.

By the end of this final part of our series, you’ll have two gentle, body-first resets plus a screenshotable Quick Card graphic to help you choose what to do now, later, or not at all.

---

When More Thinking Isn’t the Answer

This might sound strange coming from someone who coaches people how to replace unhelpful thought spirals with more helpful thinking. But the truth is: not everything can be solved with thinking. Especially when you’ve tipped past stress into overwhelm.

Overthinking often starts with a good intention: you’re trying to prepare, get it right, or avoid making something worse.

But in the process, your nervous system gets revved up. Your body reads this as danger, even if it’s just an awkward text, a looming decision, or a hard conversation that didn’t go as planned.

You can’t access your most balanced thinking when your nervous system is in high alert. That’s not a personal flaw—it’s biology.

So, what do you do?

You support your body first. Then you can think more clearly.

A Calming Practice to Try

This technique is called box breathing, and it’s based on the work of Dr Alan Watkins, a neuroscientist who studies the link between stress, emotion, and performance.

It’s incredibly simple and surprisingly powerful. It’s one of my go-to calming tools.

Box Breathing: How to Do It

• Breathe in for 4 counts

• Hold for 4 counts

• Breathe out for 4 counts

• Hold for 4 counts

• Repeat for 4 rounds (or as long as needed)

The magic isn’t in the deepness of the breath—it’s in the rhythm.

Rhythmic breathing sends a signal to your brain that you’re safe. When that happens, your thinking brain (the prefrontal cortex) comes back online, and your emotional overwhelm begins to settle.

I do this at night sometimes when my heart is racing, even if my thoughts are not. It is tremendously centering. Try it right now if you like.

“Sometimes the most supportive thing you can do isn’t to figure it out—it’s to give your body a moment of peace.”

A Note on Movement

Not everyone calms down by sitting still. For me, walking is one of the most powerful ways to break the stress cycle. It burns off the cortisol and adrenaline that overthinking tends to generate—and resets both body and mind.

Whenever I can, I walk outdoors. The fresh air, sunshine, and rhythm of moving forward all help bring my nervous system back to neutral. But even when that’s not possible, a few minutes on a treadmill can do the trick.

If you’re feeling wired and overwhelmed, ask yourself: What kind of movement feels possible right now? Even a few steps around the room might help your body come back to safety.

---

Overthinking Series Recap

If you’ve been following along, here’s a quick summary of the journey we’ve taken together:

🔹 Part 1: What You’re Really Dealing With
→ Defined overthinking and how to tell it apart from useful concern.

🔹 Part 2: Inside the Worry Cycle
→ Mapped how thoughts, feelings, and behaviours feed each other—and how to spot the cycle early.

🔹 Part 3: Unhooking from Sticky Thoughts
→ Introduced the 4 Ns (Notice, Name, Normalize, Nudge) to gently interrupt looping thoughts.

🔹 Part 4: Calm First. Then Think.
→ Shared body-first tools like rhythmic breathing, movement, and decision support to settle your nervous system before tackling the thought spiral.

You might revisit different parts of this series at different times, depending on what you need. They’re designed to be gentle guides—not rules—and you can return to them whenever you need support.

---

In the paid member section, you’ll find a calming, low-demand visual tool called the Worry Decision Tree.